I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
