girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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