Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did we literally take a cab across the street
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
