I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i love accidental penises.
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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