She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize