i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize