is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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