Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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