I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
