so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
