Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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