sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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