i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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