Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
