oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
