reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
