I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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