I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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