In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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