I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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