So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the condom got lost in my hair
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She bit a glass in half.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
