Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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