I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
