Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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