THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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