It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
