I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
