what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
