so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
