Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
operation harelip BJ is a go
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
