***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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