just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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