I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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