brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Farmville is her only friend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
