Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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