There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
