Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't special order awesome
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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