Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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