There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im holly from the hills drunk
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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