Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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