He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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