why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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