You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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