I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
