fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dignity is for republicans.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
