I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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