So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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