1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
