your thong is hanging out like whoa
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
