Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
