Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
