I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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