A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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