I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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