erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
