it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
vagina is talking i cant
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
