If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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