I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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