I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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