Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Houston, we have a blender
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
