the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
