He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
